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6 Steps for Resolving Conflict in Marriage

The reason they resurface is that you and your partner have never adequately attended to them. Linking each event to bothersome feelings is crucial because they constitute the very heart of the matter. The key word here is empathy. Intentional or not, you hurt your partner. Regardless of how misunderstood by them you yourself may now feel, you still need to honor their experience. Again, this is not the time to explain or justify yourself—or, for that matter, to interrupt them to proclaim your counter-hurts.


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Apologize , not from your head, but your heart, for hurting your partner. Granted, if you have a good amount of stored-up, negative emotional residue yourself, this can be extremely challenging. Finally, you ask your partner whether your response convinced them that you now fully appreciate why they felt hurt. Ask yourself this question: What did it feel like when I felt discounted, degraded, disrespected, or shamed?

Your partner may not be causing your hurt but reactivating, or triggering, unresolved pain from your childhood. If serious emotional abuse occurred in your youth, it may have left you achingly sensitive—and over-reactive—to anything that unconsciously reminds you of these past hurts.

24 Tips for Conflict Resolution in an Intimate Relationship - Family & Relationship Issues

Really practical points covered here to avoid conflicts as well as to heal the previous ones! Conflicts in marriage might be common but we should not make them persistent. The best way to do so is to think and feel from other person's viewpoint and give your opinion as to whether you will like it or not if it happens with you.


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Do I like if someone insults me? Do I like if someone shouts at me?

Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships: The Blueprints for Success

Do I like if someone speaks ill about me? Then, how can I do the same with others? It is rightly said: Give what you want. You will sow so shall you reap.

Here are some good sources explaining the same and in line with the points shared in this article:. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.

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4 Simple Steps to Conflict Resolution in Marriage

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